To have Gone Through it or to Redo it.......

I recently had a conversation with my mother (note, conversations with her since I always find myself quite busy are generally succinct, rare-to-her, but way too often to me—as in I will at least get a text or two voicemails daily like this is my first time away from home!!!).  Now, back to the story.  Somehow, we ended up talking about how proud she was of me, and how introspective my story has caused her to be.  The details of the conversation left both of us asking each other, which is best, to have gone through it or to redo it.  

For her, there are a ton of things that she stated that she would go back and redo, but her biggest fear is that if she were able to redo it, she would have never had the experience of raising and meeting me and my other siblings.  It is actually a very simple yet abstract idea and in Look whose Talking illustrations (one of my favorite movies of all times!!), if that same egg and that same sperm that created me had never met and caused that acrosomal reaction at that very moment…..there is a strong chance that I would not be here.  It is amazing how seconds can define us…..seconds….and to think….we live for moments.  So for her, no matter how perfect or how many improvements she could have made, she is much better satisfied to have gone through it.

As for me, I have realized a few things.  Bear with me.  Many of us always state that if we could do it all again……we would do it this way.  Then we are faced with similar circumstances and we find ourselves committing the same faux pas.  The exact same faux pas!!!!  It is now my second semester of medical school, and I still find myself wondering why I decided to begin studying later than sooner.  As our conversation continued, she asked me, if I could do first semester over, would I, and since I am a talker, this is what I said:

Had I not gone through it, I would never have thought about redoing it, but as many redoings as I have considered, you would think that by now I would just do it right the first time.  But when you think about it, had I gotten it right the first time, then I would never understand the joy the idea of redoing it brings…the possibility of actually aligning everything right.  That tends to be for people who cogitate, reflect, and wonder though……I tend to be a doer, so for me, the only way to live life is to just do it.   And momma, there is no way in HELL you or anyone else could PAY me to redo it!!! 

The following posts are from classmates who did just that, reflected upon what each of them had gone through in hopes to fight off that spirit of “redo.”  The first is by Student Doctor Meyers who while he often keeps us laughing, is here to remind us of just how humbling medical school can be.  Then, Student Doctor Allen shares with us a few facts of life in medical school.  Last, Student Doctor Watson takes us down that yellow brick road that we call life in hopes that we find exactly who we are looking for.  Now ask yourself, would I redo just last week, or maybe today, or maybe this past hour, or maybe the last few seconds…..because as I was reminded, all it takes is one second and one reaction and your entire life can change.

With utmost appreciation,

Best wishes in your endeavors,

Student Dr. Glawson

Moving Forward

What did I learn from my first semester of medical school? A metric s*** ton, which is approximately 736 courics (Southpark reference for Jean)!! Much of that went well beyond the medicine presented in our bricked lecture hall with the orange seats and the most confusing light-switch arrangement known to humanity. After sifting through my memories from last semester (many of which were clouded by lots of formaldehyde and even more stress), I came up with two items that had a huge impact on me.

1. Medical school is a GRIND and its really frickin’ TOUGH!!!

Holy crap! This a ridiculous amount of material! Every day I felt like Adam Sandler from the classic film “Billy Madison” (Yes, this a 90’s reference; You are welcome every classmate 27 and older). In the film, Billy (Adam Sandler) trains for an academic decathlon that he must win in order for his dad to allow him to take over the family company (A laughable plot, but it is a friggin’ hilarious movie). As he prepares for the decathlon, he takes French lessons (at least I think it was French). The tutor begins teaching Billy by speaking fluent French REALLY fast. Billy, his face covered with a blank stare, responds by uttering, “Slooowwww doooowwwnn.” (For your viewing pleasure, here is a link to the clip on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEcuVR2vHwM). Every class, our professors used cannons to quickly launch one concept after another at us. And no, they did not use those awesome t-shirts cannons. (That would have been amazing!!)  They used howitzers loaded with shells full of ceramide, fascia, mesenchyme, and health policy. (On a serious note, I am not saying that our professors were trying to hurt us. It is simply an analogy about how much information is presented on a daily basis.) Learning that much material that fast is just straight up tough.

2. It is a really HUMBLING experience.

We are all in medical school so I am not going out on limb by saying that every one of us did things pretty well during our undergraduate/post-baccalaureate years. I felt pretty smart when I graduated from college. I had solid grades, a lot of research experience, and couple of other nice feathers in my cap. Plenty of you did too when you earned your bachelor’s degrees. I thought I knew what was going on. Then I got to medical school . . . smh (texting abbreviation, check).

Now, I am not dumb, nor is anyone else in my class, but since arriving this past June, there have been multiple occasions when I felt that way. I know there are others that have had similar experiences. Med school has demonstrated to me that no matter how much one thinks one may know, there is always an infinite amount of knowledge that one does NOT know. Put simply, med school thus far has been quite humbling.

Both of these together made last semester rough . . . really, really rough. From the looks of it, that was just a taste or how difficult it is to be physician. As an orthopedic surgeon once told us (prior to her having two of my classmates, I.B. and A.S., teach her how to dougie), we are never done studying, residency makes med school look like child’s play, and practicing as an independent professional makes residency look easy.

The life of a physician is hard and requires a lot sacrifice. (Last semester was just taste of that life.) To succeed as physicians, we must be harder. We must be able to move forward no matter what lies in front of us. The only way to do that is, as my man Winston Churchill said, “NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!”

Thanks!

Student Dr. Meyers

Me+Tight Rope= I must Have a Balance!!

Though you may typically hear of the long nights of studying, the brutally challenging work and the (insert typical med school statements here), the things that stand out most to me are the “life lessons” that I have learned in my very short time in med school.

I’ll share my top three with you, and even provide you with a little background on each.

1.     

        Keep professional and personal relationships separate.
Now, before you scream that that IS not unique to medical school, let me explain. Unlike most undergrad classes, med school classes are small. Our class has 105 students and from 8am to 3/5pm on an average day, we are together in a tiny lecture hall. We take the same classes, many of us live in the same building or very close to campus, we study together, party together, work in organizations together, go to church together, and the list goes on …. Granted, we get on each other’s nerves. However, I have realized that it is important to quickly figure out whether you are having a professional or a personal clash of interests.  If it is personal, stay out of each other’s personal space. If it is business, then there are enough leadership roles to go around without working together. But, do not let the two bleed into each other because we are stuck here together for another 3 years and 3 months!!!

2.     Take very few things personal. (Yes, personal)
Medical school is a very high stress environment. I believe that this statement speaks for itself. Unfortunately, stress tends to bring out not so positive traits, attitudes and characteristics and people may say or do (both consciously and unknowingly) things that hurt your feelings or offend you. Never assume that it was a personal attack. Dust it off. But, if it hurts that badly, kindly and succinctly ask the person about the statement, and whether or not you receive an answer that you like, dust it off. Another reason why I have learned to not take things personally is because medical school sometimes has a way of screwing with your brain and getting you to think that everyone is against you, smarter than you, talking about you, isolating you, and this list really goes on …. So try your very best to not take things personal.

3.     You must find a healthy balance.
Medical school goes at a crazy pace. If you’re not careful you will spend all of your time studying, and I highly doubt that you will be any smarter for it. Mix it up once in a while, study somewhere new, study with someone new, go to a party or two, go to church, watch tv, call a friend, take a trip on a three day weekend, sleep (lol), enjoy a meal that costs more than $10, go to the gym, etc, etc,…… It is so important here to find a balance- your balance, or this thing called medical school will eat you alive. Not to mention, you will enjoy the destination a lot more, if the journey was fun and well worth it.

      Best, 

      Student Dr. Allen

Yellow Bricks and Long, Winding Roads

Lions, Tigers, and Bears! Oh MY! First semester of Med School FLEW BY! I can best describe my first semester experience of medical school as a rumble in the jungle. The chaos, turmoil, anxiety, stress, and headaches were like wild animals waiting to pounce on an un-expecting traveler.  Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I woke up one morning and quickly realized that I had been ripped out of my comfort zone by a whirlwind of classes, gross lab, executive board happenings, organizational meetings, block exams, responsibilities, and board exams (this is where I catch my breath….and...breathe...out…..ahhh).  I had to personally find the strength to believe that I had the ability to make it to Oz. When I first arrived, the upperclassmen told me to follow the yellow ROCKY road to success. It took a great deal of planning, balance, and time management to ensure that I made it down the yellow rocky road to Oz. I must admit along the way I ran into some pretty ‘wicked’ witches that tried to prevent me from getting to the end of the road. Luckily, I had the assistance of newfound friends that made the journey much easier. Along the journey, I stumbled across courage.  It is actually quite intimidating to step into a situation that really does seem like something out of a fictional novel. We faced challenge after challenge and often times we were met with defeat.  However, it was those moments of triumph that pulled together the pieces of courage and self-confidence. Additionally, the support of my peers that were experiencing the same feelings was reassuring and motivating. And look here, I actually found my brain!!! The stress from medical school alone can make you feel like you are loosing your mind. The endless nights of studying, the un-interpretable lab manual, the never ending PPM small groups and articles, family, relationships, roommates, and the list just goes can make a person feel as though they are literally out of their mind (second breath catching….right….here…ahhh). As class president, I had a lot of added duties and responsibilities, and I found that trying to maintain that adequate balance of life, school, and extracurricular activities helped me better understand my limits and better hone my niche and helped me find my brain. Moreover, this semester helped me and some of my classmates find our hearts.  Anyone that can survive first semester, is stronger, is more focused, and has a renewed passion to conquer the dreams of becoming a physician.

On another note, I realized that medical school is not for everyone. Only the strong will survive and make it through the jungle. One of my classmates once said that we are put through a lot of manure (synonymous with a four-lettered word that is often shouted when you drop something….especially your iPhone!) here in medical school. He was right! All this EXTRA manure is going to make us a more plentiful and ripe crop when the harvest comes MAY 2015! There are many things you always wish or think you could have done better or differently, but you respond to the best of your ability under pressure. First semester pushed me beyond my limits and stretched me beyond my capacity. In the end, it made me a stronger and wiser person. I was pushed to strive for excellence in everything that I participated in, and I am so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to chase after my dreams. These are the days that I will forever cherish. 

Student Dr. Watson

One Eighth of a Doctor!!

It has been a long time coming. (Christmas break that is)  I did not think that it would get here quick enough!  Retrospectively, I learned two very important things to carry with me through what some may call an evolution:  A. I discovered that the reason as to why my heart beats uncontrollably and I some how pick up “see-through” wall vision is because I add sugar to my coffee!!  B.  I have got to stop second-guessing myself.  My first guess is 90% of the time correct.  I have always had a bad habit of doing this (mostly due to the fact that I am a risk taker or as I like to call it….an adventure on wheels—ask my lab group!)  However, I am now seeing where it at times determines whether or not my B can become an A.  It is in the details that we find out who or what we really are.  Whether or not we are punctual, risk-takers, careful, arrogant, or afraid, it all comes down to that one question that can turn your A into a B or your B into an A.  (I’m an optimist, so I wish a C on NO ONE!)

Since this is the time of year that people usually spend with their loved ones (or in my Grandfather’s words “it is the time of year when you all (the grandkids) rob my pockets…insert a four letter expletive here!!), what better way to end our semester with just that.  I have four great posts that somehow touch on these relationships that we celebrate during this season.  The first is by Student Dr. Washington-Plaskett who talks about the number one man in her life…her dog!! (Well it may be either a tie or a close second because she is definitely a daddy’s girl!)  Following is a break-up letter by Student Dr. Jayanthan that well, I will let this letter speak for itself because he obviously has some things to get off his chest!!!  The last two are juxtapositions of life before and after marriage in medical school by Student Dr. Stephens and Student Dr. Hannam. 

Oh and by the way, one of my best friends just reminded me that I am officially 1/8 of a doctor……mmmmm..that just sounds and smells sooo much better (now that gross is GONE)!!! JJ!!!!

With utmost appreciation,

Best wishes in your endeavors,

Student Dr. Glawson

Medical School...in Dog Years

Do you ever wonder why some people in medical school seem to have such tight schedules and have to rush home at the end of a day full of classes?  Most of the time it is because they have a child (hats off to all the parents in medical school!!!) or a needy dog (like me), often times the two coincide.  As much as I love my 65lb, 7 year old, Black Labrador, he does NOT seem to understand or even care that I am a first-year medical student struggling with this new schedule!!  He is very well trained and has successfully been potty-trained so there are never any accidents in my house.  However, the amount of time I spend walking, feeding, engaging, and playing with him can add up and as a medical student, time is a precious commodity.  I sometimes envy my non-pet owner classmates with twice as much time on their hands to study, go out to eat and drink right after a long day of classes, or just relax after getting home from school.  I simply do not have these luxuries!!  It might seem as though I resent my precious pup, but this is quite the contrary.  The excitement in his eyes after I come home from being at school all day (usually from 8am-5pm), and the companionship I receive with him always by my side outweighs all of the setbacks I may have taking care of him while I am a medical student.  The positive aspects of having a pet in medical school are that you are always on a timed schedule, you are never alone, and at least have someone that appreciates you even if they can’t say it!  Even though he can’t express how he feels, I will always know he loves me.  Nothing can compare to the unconditional love from a pet…..well maybe a parent’s unconditional love and in that regard….I am glad he can’t talk back!!!!

Avid pet owner,

Student Dr. Washington-Plaskett

Dear Gross

Dear Gross,

I need to get some things off my chest. Look, you and I have been at this for what, over five months now?  Yet, I still feel like I don’t really know you. Sometimes, when I think I do, you test me and then I realize I don’t……..

I guess I just feel like this has been a one-way relationship. I do almost everything you ask, Gross. You want me to study your muscles, so I study your muscles. You want me to study your nerves, so I study your nerves. You want me to know that I can palpate a man’s prostate if I give him a rectal examination, so I know that too. But despite all my efforts, you still give me mediocre grades. I even went out and bought BRS (Badass Relationship Suggestions) hoping to get a few pointers on how to handle you. But no, the tips they gave me still did not work much on you…

Don’t get me wrong, Gross. We’ve had our okay times. I won’t lie. I enjoyed learning about your upper and lower limbs and some of your random fun facts. (Like when I hit my “funny bone”, I’m actually hitting my ulnar nerve! WOW!) See, I sometimes like you… BUT I STILL MOSTLY HATE YOU! Have you even noticed that it’s been five months and we still haven’t said “I love you” to each other?! I texted my friend Abby who IM’d her friend Jessica who said that we were on the path to breaking up! Don’t you care, Gross?!?!?! Huh?!?!?! I don’t think you do…

…Which brings me to the main reason I’m writing you this letter today. I’m through trying to understand you, Gross.  I’ve tried, I’ve tried, and I’ve tried. But I shall try no more. I’m breaking up with you!!!!!

As of this week, I will be changing my Facebook status to ‘Single’. Hmph!!!!

You suck,

Student Dr. Jayanthan